Family business - the Kolker family values Catholic education

Fran and Don Kolker pose with some of their family members at their parish, St. Francis of Assisi Church in Grapevine. From left to right: Eli Gallegos, Ethan Thompson, Emma Thompson, Chris Thompson, Patrick Thompson, Theresa Thompson, Noah Thompson, and Kate Thompson. (NTC/Rodger Mallison)

Catholic education has been a constant in the lives of Don and Fran Kolker since meeting in high school at St. Mary’s Catholic School in Lawton, Okla. Now some 69 years into their marriage, the parishioners of St. Francis of Assisi in Grapevine head a family that is deeply invested in Catholic education in North Texas.

One of the couple’s daughters, Karen Ullman, is the principal of Holy Trinity Catholic School in Grapevine. Another daughter, Theresa Thompson, is the head of the English Department at Nolan Catholic High School in Fort Worth. A son, Michael Kolker, is a past school board member for a Catholic school in Irving. And one of his sons, Father Kevin Kolker, is the chaplain and director of Catholic Campus Ministry at Southern Methodist University in Dallas.

It’s become a family legacy, built over decades.

“My parents were always faithful Catholics, and they believed in Catholic education,” Don Kolker said. “My brothers and sisters all went to St. Mary’s and I followed along. But I’ve always believed very strongly in Catholic education. Our kids should be in Catholic schools from first grade through high school and that’s just the way I feel. And I feel it’s very, very important not just to the kids who are getting that education, but it’s very important to the Church, for the growth of the Church.”

Don Kolker’s faith life — he and Fran are regulars at daily Mass, the Rosary and Adoration — was in many ways influenced by a special grandparent.

“My grandmother on my father’s side was a very holy woman,” he said. “She lived to a ripe old age. St. Mary’s was about two blocks away from the home where she lived. After school I would frequently go over there and spend the afternoon. She was in bed. She always had her Rosary in her hand. She received the [Anointing of the Sick] four times — four different times — and recovered every time. That was kind of the root of our family.” 

A future spouse

Fran Kolker landed at St. Mary’s while her father, who was in the Army, was stationed in Oklahoma.

“My father, who was not Catholic — my mother was, but my father wasn’t — insisted that I was going to go to Catholic school,” she said. “And so I went to St. Mary’s and that’s where I met Don.”

But the Army called for Fran Kolker’s father to be transferred again, first to Bangkok and then back to her native California. The constant that remained was Catholic education.

“My father went to the nuns that had taught us in grade school and said, ‘Where am I going to send her in California?’ and they said, ‘We have a high school.’ It was the Daughters of Charity. So, I went to St. Vincent’s High School. I graduated high school in San Francisco.” 

Don and Fran kept in touch through letter writing and later, visits. They were married in 1957.

“My parents have been a beautiful example of how to live in faith,” said daughter Linda Kolker. “They taught me to live my faith no matter what else is happening in my life. They showed me how to stay centered in Christ through every storm. My parents did not tell me what to do — they showed me what to do by living their lives as living, faithful servants of God.”

Smart start

It’s an upbringing that always included a component of Catholic education.

“My parents sent all of us to Catholic elementary and high schools,” Karen Ullman said. “Having received a strong Catholic education myself, I knew upon graduating from college that I wanted to help provide that same foundation for young students. The ability to infuse every subject with our faith is very important to ensure that my students can see the world through the lens of Catholicism.”

Michael Kolker said his sisters, and others, have answered a special calling as Catholic educators.

“Catholic school teachers are dedicated,” he said. “They’re not in it for the money. They could go to the public schools and earn more, but they’re choosing not to. So, there’s more of a mission-driven faculty at the Catholic school versus the public school. I always felt [I was] in a good place when I was in the Catholic school, and I felt like our kids were in a good place.”

Michael Kolker, like his parents, met his wife Cathy in Catholic school.

“I met her in third grade,” he said. “All our best friends are families we met during the education of our kids. When I think of my sisters teaching, I just think of the community aspect of Catholic schools and what it develops, because I could go down a list of our top 10 friends we stay in touch with and they’re all friends we met at [Catholic school].

“And that’s important when you look for support from friends. You know that they’ve got similar values and you can go back and count on a multi-decade relationship. And so to know that Kevin as part of his ministry is with families like that and my sisters, as part of their career, are part of families like that. It’s neat.”

Goals and grandchildren

A crowning jewel came two years ago, when Fr. Kolker was ordained in the Diocese of Dallas.

“It was a waterfall — all of us were crying, even Kevin,” recalled Fran Kolker. “We’ve gone to Mass several times when he says Mass at SMU and even that just makes me tear up. It’s just beautiful.”

For Fr. Kolker, his faith journey began with his family. 

“Throughout my formative years, I was surrounded by models of the Catholic faith,” he said. “The whole family took it seriously, and the witness of my parents and grandparents was particularly powerful in showing me how important the faith is. Without a doubt, family was a major influence in cultivating my priestly vocation.”

For Don and Fran Kolker, seeing their family so steeped in the Catholic faith is exactly what they hoped life would be when they married.

“We can’t describe it,” Don Kolker said. “We spend a lot of time thanking the Lord for all the blessings He has given us as our immediate family, and then as we see the further family, how they’ve all turned out. It’s been an absolute blessing to us.”

Catholic education, both agree, has been one of the tools helping to lead their family to the faith’s ultimate goal.

“We want to see them in heaven,” Fran Kolker said. “Hopefully, we’ll go there. And we want to see them there, too.”

The objective is the same for Don Kolker.

“We would like to have our entire family with us in heaven,” he said.