Grief consoled at Memorial Mass for Babies who Died Before Baptism

North Texas Catholic
(Oct 29, 2024) Local

A family walk hand in hand as their child carries a rose during a special procession at the start of the Memorial Mass of Babies Died Before Baptism, on Saturday, October. 26, 2024 at St. Patrick Cathedral in Fort Worth. (NTC/Ben Torres)

FORT WORTH — Decades ago, Elsa Zamarripa suffered two miscarriages but the memory of losing those babies is still painful.

“It wasn’t recognized. It was dismissed. There was silence,” remembered the grieving mother who later gave birth to a daughter after a difficult pregnancy. “I’m grateful that’s changing now.”

A member of St. Thomas Becket Catholic Church in Fort Worth, an ordinariate parish of the Chair of St. Peter, she found comfort and community at the Memorial Mass for Babies who Died Before Baptism held Oct. 26 at St. Patrick Cathedral. Started more than 35 years ago by the founders of Mother and Unborn Baby Care — the late Chuck Pelletier and his wife, Pat — the annual liturgy offers spiritual healing to families and individuals who lost children through miscarriage, stillbirth, and abortion.

The Mass now falls under the auspices of the diocesan Respect Life Office and is always timed to occur in October, designated by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops as Respect Life month.

“It’s one of the most beautiful Masses and very healing for grieving families who never had closure,” explained Theresa Schauf, Respect Life coordinator. “For too long women were told to ‘get over it’ after losing a baby. I think we’re doing a better job of acknowledging this was a life and there’s a reason to grieve.”

Bishop Olson celebrates the Memorial Mass of Babies Died Before Baptism, on Saturday, October. 26, 2024 at St. Patrick Catedral in Fort Worth. (NTC/Ben Torres)

Making the Mass a diocesan event ensures it will continue for years to come and gives it wider exposure. This year 200 people, the largest turnout in the liturgy’s history, heard Bishop Michael Olson offer words of consolation to parents mourning the loss of a child. The leader of North Texas Catholics concelebrated the Mass with Father John Robert Skeldon, rector at St. Patrick Cathedral, and Father John Herrera, a priest in the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City and son of Laura Herrera, director of Mother and Unborn Baby Care, a local pro-life pregnancy center.

“It seems there’s something about our fallen human condition from original sin that sees children as an adversary,” the bishop said, referencing the day’s Gospel, Mark 10:13–16, in which disciples scolded parents who brought their children to Jesus for a blessing. “Throughout history, children were objectified and valued only for their productivity as members of a household.”

God lifts the status of children by beginning man’s salvation with the conception of Christ in Mary’s womb.

“Christ teaches us in the Gospel that He wants the children to come to Him and no one can keep them from Him,” he continued. “This flows through the Church’s liturgical life, our prayer life, and the practices of the Church.”

Bishop Olson asked the congregation to have confidence that infants who died before baptism are with God.

“We have His promise and example in His son,” the homilist assured. “We celebrate this Mass to ask God to receive all of those children who have gone before us before baptism. We ask Him to heal us in our grief so it becomes a mourning tinged with hope and confidence that we will see those who have gone before us.”

Following the homily, 70 families processed up the center aisle of the cathedral to lay a rose on the Marian altar in memory of their children who died. Many shed tears and knelt in front of the statue of Mary — the mother of all humanity.

A mother and father, with their children, place roses near the Eucharist during a special procession at the start of the Memorial Mass of Babies Died Before Baptism, on Saturday, October. 26, 2024 at St. Patrick Cathedral in Fort Worth. (NTC/Ben Torres)

“They’re placing their baby in the arms of the Lord and Mary when they put that rose on the altar,” explained Pat Pelletier, president of Mother and Unborn Baby Care, the event’s sponsor. “It gives them a funeral. The healing we see is palpable and the people who come appreciate the bishop’s presence. He believes it’s the most important pro-life thing we do all year.”

A 68-year-old woman told Pelletier she lost a baby as a young woman and never had the opportunity to acknowledge it.

“Walking up that aisle is very emotional, and it’s difficult not to be in tears,” she observed.

A luncheon in the parish hall, held after the Mass, replicates the meal and social visits most families experience after a funeral.

Stephanie Duo, who miscarried three children, came to the Mass “to give them a voice and pray for all those parents who have or are going through the grieving process.” Four young offspring accompanied her, including newborn Mary Josephine.

“It’s important to include them on this journey because they lost siblings,” added the St. Benedict parishioner. “Coming here has been a beautiful experience. Although my children passed away many years ago, it’s still good to remember they were souls we created for His kingdom.”

Unborn children, abortion, miscarriage, Mass for grieving parents, Mass for the Unborn, trending-english