Not so happy?

NTC/Carolina Boelter

Young Christians today are facing an insidious question when it comes to discernment. This question delays, distorts, and derails them from the adventurous and courageous life to which God calls them. For many, it leaves them paralyzed and directionless.

At the heart of every discernment lurks the fear: What if I’m not happy? What if I choose this route and it doesn’t turn out like I hoped? What if I’m miserable? What if everything I’m afraid of happening comes true? How can I leave behind what I’m comfortable with? In other words, it sounds like: Will I be fulfilled? Will I have true joy?

So what is the problem? The problem is not merely the questioning of future happiness. The problem is beginning the path of discernment with this as the foremost question.

We cannot discern fulfillment as our primary goal and marker for validity because it too easily becomes a mere search for emotional satisfaction. Did I feel good about my decision today or not?

In place of this, we must begin the journey with courage and a desire to do God’s will. When doing God’s will with courage takes first place, fulfillment becomes less of a priority.

All vocations, especially priesthood and religious vocations, require facing the unknown future. A future that could very well be dark and scary. Could very well call you out of your comfort zone. Could very well hurt you. And at least for a time will absolutely require you to give something up.

We must begin thinking of vocation not primarily in terms of happiness, but first in terms of mission. What am I being asked to do and Who is asking me? That’s the first and most essential question. “Will this vocation make me the happiest?” is not.

With a vocation-as-happiness mindset, what happens when life gets hard and our vocation gets tough? What happens when we actually do not feel happy? Usually, we end up thinking that we are in the wrong place or doing the wrong thing.

With a vocation-as-mission mindset, problems are expected, met head-on, and overcome with time and patience.

The question is then, what are we really discerning with a vocation-as-happiness mindset? Ultimately, we are searching within and examining how we feel about our situation. How do I feel about it? Do I want it? Do I want to keep going? Do we think this is mature Christian decision-making?

Vocation-as-mission mindset asks: Has God moved me in this direction? Has He opened doors for this to happen? Have other people affirmed this path for me? Is this path ultimately good and does it serve the kingdom of God? And most importantly, do I have the courage to say yes to something that I may not actually want?

Jeremiah did not want to be a prophet, but he said yes. Moses did not want to lead the people of Israel, but he said yes.

We must be reminded that God calls us first and foremost to Himself. It is here that we discover fulfillment, joy, peace, and all the fruits and gifts of the Holy Spirit. He is the wellspring of nourishment we crave.

From knowing Him, trusting Him, and drawing life from Him, He calls us to do His will. His will entails things we do not necessarily want to do.

He asks for big and small changes. He asks for time. He asks us to be inconvenienced. He often does ask us to suffer. He asks some of us to become priests and religious, some missionaries, and some married people. All four paths that can and will entail both profound joy and potentially profound sorrow.

To whichever path one has been or is being called to, we must remember this key distinction. Fulfillment is found in God; vocation is given by God. Our vocation is God’s mission for us.

Father Brett Metzler serves as Chaplain at Nolan Catholic High School in Fort Worth and as the Vocations Director for the diocese. Find his regular columns for the North Texas Catholic here.