Stilling the Waters
NTC/Juan Guajardo
In Father Jacques Philippe’s book Searching for and Maintaining Peace, he writes, “Consider the surface of a lake, above which the sun is shining. If the surface of the lake is peaceful and tranquil, the sun will be reflected in this lake … If, on the contrary, the surface of the lake is agitated, undulating, then the image of the sun cannot be reflected in it.”
As Lent approaches, we must ask ourselves not only what is the goal of Lent, but most especially, what is the goal of the Christian life?
Often times in our desire for spiritual growth, we think our goal is merely to get better: to overcome our sins, to get more disciplined, to renew our prayer life, and sometimes, the sneaky desire to honestly just lose a little weight.
All of these are good ventures, but are they the goal? Fr. Jacques Philippe stands in a long line of spiritual writers, including St. Francis de Sales, St. Seraphim, and many others who direct us back to the first and only goal of the spiritual life: God Himself.
Does my life glorify and radiate God to others? Overcoming sins through discipline and time are important aspects to the spiritual life, but they are a means to this end. To the extent that they deepen our interior sense of peace and connection to the Lord, they serve their purpose.
If in our pursuit of self-betterment, we find ourselves exclusively looking inward with frustration, impatience, and anxiety, how does that glorify God? Are the waters being made calm so that the Lord can be reflected through our life, or does our internal disturbance draw us further from the Lord and cause shortness and anger towards others?
If then, internal peace is the goal and not merely self-betterment, how do we achieve this? Aren’t we meant to fight against sin and rid ourselves of all attachments except for God?
Of course we are, but the ironic turn is that if we want to overcome sin and ourselves, our focus should actually not primarily be on ourselves but on God. Prayer, relationship, and friendship with God are the key to developing internal peace. To strive for virtue without an actual friendship with God is a misdirection of the spiritual life.
Even if you are able to will yourself to be virtuous through a disciplined program, if by the end you cannot look to God to see that His friendship and patience have brought you there, you have in the end, only served your own purposes and not Him.
What then do we do? This Lent, use your fasting, discipline, and reordering of your life to seek more of God, rather than merely to get better for Him.
Many Lents in seminary I would come to my spiritual director with a long list of disciplines in order to make myself better. Instead he would offer me something small to help better direct my attention to the Father.
The best Lent I ever had was simply adding 30 minutes to my prayer time in the day to read St. Therese of Lisieux’s Story of a Soul. This helped me engage with the normal fasting and penances of Lent with much greater peace, charity, and the childlike joy of being with Jesus in the desert.
Ultimately, we have to ask ourselves, do I actually know and love Jesus as a friend? Do I know and love God as a Father? Or do I merely believe those things in general, but don’t know them for myself?
Any vocation or calling from God always takes place in the calm waters of this friendship, in which the Lord listens to us, guides us, forgives us, and takes us to Himself.
Father Brett Metzler serves as Chaplain at Nolan Catholic High School in Fort Worth and as the Vocations Director for the diocese. Find his regular columns for the North Texas Catholic here